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Caution Zones-Watch For Red Flags? (12 of 13)
Series: When Leaders Live Together
How Two Strong Personalities Can Thrive In Marriage
Larry and Devi Titus
Red flags are typically those red warning signs that are held or posted by construction workers indicating the need for extreme caution. People who ignore such warnings do so at their own peril. Marriage also has red flags that are scriptural sign-posts to warn you of likely danger or, if unheeded, probable disaster.
This chapter on Red Flags is intended to warn you of potential danger in the lives of leaders who live together. Though this list is not exhaustive, it is at least an attempt to ward off some of the most obvious dangers that we have seen leaders succumb to over the past fifty years of ministry. If you heed the red flags, you will save your marriage, your family and your future. If you ignore them, you can forfeit everything. What begins as flirting with adventure ends with courting disaster.
There is no person who is so spiritual as to be immune from these potential disasters. As Paul said, ''I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified.'' I Corinthians 9:27. It's not that Paul is threatening eternal damnation. He is saying that if we don't discipline our fleshly appetites, God won't use us. We will be shelved, disqualified. Do you think that God will use an undisciplined person who continually chooses to ignore His warning signs? It will never happen.
Below I've listed some of the red flags that I've encountered.
Divorce has now been made easy in our courts; therefore, it has become common in our society. Now, couples banter around the word ''divorce'' using it as a threat on a regular basis to keep their spouse in line. I can't imagineanything unhealthier. Divorce is not a word in my household dictionary. Devi and I won't consider it; it's not in our vocabulary. We don't speak of it, and we don't like others to even mention it. In an interview, Ruth Graham was asked, ''Have you ever considered divorce?'' Ruth Graham wittingly said that divorcing her husband, Billy, was never an option, but she had considered murder. Of course, this statement was made in jest. That was a cute way to reinforce her convictions that divorce was not an option in their marriage, even when they faced tough times.
I'm so unbending in my convictions that I don't like any jokes that relate to divorce or anyone who speaks about marriage in a pejorative or levities manner. Marriage is to be held in high regard.
It wasn't too many decades ago that few people in the United States or Western culture even considered divorce. Back then, if you got married, you stayed married, at any cost. Now, often divorce is considered an option even before the marriage ceremony. ''Well, if things don't work out, I can ...
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