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Controllers Or Releasers (4 of 13)
Series: When Leaders Live Together
How Two Strong Personalities Can Thrive In Marriage
Larry and Devi Titus
For the sake of simplicity, I'll put all men in the category of either Releasers or Controllers. Obviously, that is much too general and simplistic. Many men are controlling in some areas and releasers in others. However, I will present the extremes for the sake of emphasis. Let's look first at Controllers.
Controllers: Hearty, heady, heavy-handed, half-witted, harebrained, hard- mouthed, hard-nosed, hapless, hopeless, hoggish, hairless hominids, with fewer guts than common houseflies. Men in this category feel that the only way to maintain their dominance is to control and suppress their wives. Needless to say, I will not be sending these men Christmas cards this year because I feel they are absolutely dangerous. How dare they take the beautiful gifts that God gives them in their wives and keep them suppressed for the sake of inflating their own egos and stroking their machismo? This form of masculine pride needs to be flushed down the porcelain facility. It is not biblical.
Controllers lead with anger, intimidation, manipulation, suppression and force. They lead, all right, but it's negative and destructive. People follow them out of fear rather than out of respect. Controllers turn their beautiful wives into cringing, fawning, cowering, fearful objects of darkness-slaves to a beastly husband. Through the years, you will notice their wives' light filled countenances slowly become sullen, silenced, drawn, and darkened until they give up all hope. The light of their lovely personalities gradually becomes dimmer until it finally extinguishes. I would not want to stand in such a man's shoes on judgment day when he has to give account to God for abusing his authority.
I've personally known and observed once beautiful women become hardly recognizable because of insecure, heavy-handed husbands. If you're one ofthese men, you need to repent to your wife, to Jesus, to your children, to your employees, and anyone else you've manhandled. You might need to take your repentance all the way to the President in the Oval Office just to make sure it's cleaned out of your system.
If people follow you for any reason other than the good, godly example you set for them, then you're out of sync with the Holy Spirit and the entire Word of God. Your goal should be for people to want (not have) to follow you. Submission should always be subjective, because the person under your leadership understands the biblical principle involved. One should not coerce or cajole another into obedience. Your wife should never feel forced into submission through tyranny. If you force her to submit, you violate the entire Word of God. Her submission must come from her own volition.
Much of what we view as 'rebellion' in ...
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