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Headship And Leadership
Series: When Leaders Live Together
How Two Strong Personalities Can Thrive In Marriage
Larry and Devi Titus
Do you know the difference between headship and leadership in marriage? The biblical responsibility of a married man to oversee his home and love, protect, and release his wife defines headship. Leader- ship references one's personality and/or gifting. God has called you the 'head' of your wife, if you are a married man. The dominant leader in the home, on the other hand, can be either the man or the woman. Not understanding this distinction has caused centuries of confusion in marriages. Men too often try to take on the leader role because they feel obligated to do so. Conversely, women try to subdue their leadership personalities because they feel that to lead would contradict their responsibilities to submit to their husbands.
But, I've got good news. If a man doesn't possess leadership skills, he does not have to lead out of obligation. However, he still must assume responsibility for headship. If a woman possesses natural leadership ability, she can lead freely according to her personality. However, she must not violate the headship principle through rebellion, domination, or disrespect.
Man's Call To Headship
Let's look at the following scriptures concerning the man's call to headship:
But I want you to understand that the head of every man is Christ, the head of a wife is her husband, and the head of Christ is God. 1 Corinthians 11:3
For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. Ephesians 5:23
In understanding headship, one must realize that man ultimately stands responsible before God for the marriage. As I mentioned above, it's a gender thing. It doesn't relate to a man's qualifications, abilities, or personality. It relates to only one thing. God, in His divine prerogative as Creator, appointed man (not woman) the 'head.' If women have a problem with that, I suggest they take it up with God because He made the decision. Or, she could choose to not marry.
A Born Leader
Leadership, on the other hand, is a matter of personality, temperament, and gifting. The dominant leadership personality in the home can be the man, the woman, or a combination of both. As I described in the Introduction, my wife is a born leader. We call her a natural leader. From the time her feet hit the floor in the morning until she goes to bed at night, she leads. Yet, she has willingly chosen to honor and submit to my headship in our marriage and home under Christ.
God wants the man to appreciate his wife's leadership gifts and release them.
Suppress Or Release
Devi leads others naturally and effectively. Therefore, I have only two options. I can either suppress her or release her. Many men t ...
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