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We're So Different
Series: When Leaders Live Together
How Two Strong Personalities Can Thrive In Marriage
Larry and Devi Titus
Unity is never sameness or oneness. Unity requires diversity. I can't be one with myself. I can only be one with someone else and that other person must be totally different for us to achieve unity. To even say, ''We are so different, we should have never married,'' is absurd. It's precisely because you are so different that unity can be attained. If God were interested in ''oneness,'' He would not have extricated Eve from the side of Adam. Because Eve was removed from the ''side'' of Adam, then physiologically, women are going to be different than men.
In marriage, God requires that two completely different people become one.
''For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh.'' This verse, first mentioned by God in Genesis 2:24 (NIV), is so important that it's repeated again in the New Testament by Jesus in Matthew 19:5 and Mark 10:7-8, and by Paul in I Corinthians 6:16. It is God's idea, then, that two totally different people should become one flesh.
Unity requires diversity.
Of course, everyone is already aware of the enormous differences between men and women as a gender; she likes company, he likes caves; she likes shop- ping, he likes sports; she likes gourmet food, he likes greasy gravy; she likes to dress up, he likes jeans and a T-shirt; she likes to ask endless questions, he answers in just a few mono-syllabic grunts; she can tell her innermost thoughts to the cashier at the grocery market in front of God and everyone, he won't share his secrets with a deaf priest in a confessional booth; she spends hours getting ready, he brushes his teeth and is out the door; she's always cold, he's always hot.
As an aside, I would highly recommend the book or DVD series calledMarriage on the Rock, by Jimmy Evans, for an outstanding treatment on this subject. He teaches on how diversity should help, rather than hinder, marriage relationships. I'm admittedly biased, since Jimmy and Karen remain my close friends, but I have never, ever heard better or more practical teaching on marriage than comes from Jimmy. Go to Amazon and order this series before reading the rest of this chapter. You'll be glad you did-it can save your marriage.
The other day, I was watching four teenagers standing on a corner with car wash signs, trying to coax customers to come in and purchase a car wash for their fund raising project. Actually, I should say, three teenagers standing with signs and one teenager sitting with the sign on his lap. The three standing teen- agers were girls and the fourth one, sitting down, was the boy. Does that tell you anything about the genders? Three girls yelling, screaming, waving their signs at every car that passed by, and one boy sitting o ...
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